South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
