Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
