oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
