does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
