His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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