you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
my poor anus
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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