I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
