white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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