Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
