Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize