Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
