i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
