people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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