Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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