he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
