please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
