Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
