Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
