ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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