Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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