So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My cat gives me a boner
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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