Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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