so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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