dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
