Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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