12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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