I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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