Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
