I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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