Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
