Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
