so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
