And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
