careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
