very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize