i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
