No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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