Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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