Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
