try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
