Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
