its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize