Don't you send me to vm
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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