I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
