i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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