Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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