all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
