just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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