im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
