I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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