i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just want to make out with him forever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
