one might say we're banned from that church
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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