I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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