i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
