Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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