how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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