shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
