Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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