i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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