Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
