I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
