I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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