If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wish my penis had a tongue
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
