Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
