Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
