Whatcha textin bout Willis?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
